Saturday 25 October 2014

Did My Husband Discover My Stash Of Self-Help Books?

Joel Osteen, Louise Hay or Wayne Dyer perhaps?

Those of you, who are married or in a long term relationship will know what I mean. It is not a case of married snobbery but if you are just stepping out together, the gloves aren't off yet or rather each has their best foot forward.

Gosh, it makes marriage sound a trifle real ( or surreal? ) but that is what makes it fun. Being able to be yourself without having to put your public veneer on at all times.

We were driving in town yesterday and I was almost ( not quite ) speechless when I heard Bob's reply after I had dropped one of those wifely helpful hints about his driving. Normally, oh okay sometimes I prudently hold my tongue and just grip the door handle, as no one likes a helpful passenger!

Oh I know, that could be the intro for a comic routine and at times the inside of our car could be an Improv Comedy stage! Anyway, first I mentioned that he was going too fast in the car park at Obi. Normally a sarcastic / miffed / cross reply would be instantaneous but yesterday I got a

" Oh, thank you. I hadn't noticed. "
fair enough, maybe he was daydreaming about lunch and hadn't heard my wifely helpful hint....

A little while later, while driving through a village he was a tad bit over the 50 kmh limit and I prudently pointed it out to him.

" Bob, slow down. You are driving too fast. "
" Oh thank you Biggi. I hadn't notice so let me slow down a bit. "
Oh, what has happened to Bob?

The final clue was when someone cut in front of him. Whereas normally there would be a string of expletives rolling off his tongue, all he said was:

" Oh never mind, I am sure he had to be somewhere sooner..."
Pleasantly surprised and intrigued, I demanded to know whether he had been sneaking Joel Osteen into the loo ( his best reading spot ) and he adroitly lobbed back his answer...
" Oh no, I haven't been reading anything like that. After all the years of being with you, it has finally sunk in."
Ouch, that could be taken two ways...

Biggi

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