Quotes, what else...
" Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. "
Anthony Burgess
" I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. "
Rodney Dangerfield
" I don't exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. "
Joan Rivers
" Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. "
Abraham Lincoln
" What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? "
W. Clement Stone
" An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out. "
George Jean Nathan
" The best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. "
Phyllis Diller
" Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age -
as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. "
Phyllis Diller
" You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes,
and you're barefoot. "
Phyllis Diller
" I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. "
Steven Wright
" My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. "
Henny Youngman
Biggi
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