Might This Be The Secret To A Long & Happy Marriage?

Deciphering the all important language of couple speak.

Isn't it funny that before we have that all important ring on our finger ( symbol to the world that the dusty shelf needs to be sans us ) we tend to be more conservative in our approach. Stars are still in our eyes or is it a case of having blinkers over them. Everything we do and say, is lovely and perfect to the other half...

When does it start? The language of signals or couple - speak? Who hasn't sat around a dinner table and usually after the first glass of wine, your husband starts to divulge facts, figures and stories that you have told him not to. Oh, the first step ( excuse the pun ) is usually a dainty heel on his foot. A simple love tap to tell him to keep quiet / change the subject. Most men think that the family cat or dog brushed their leg, and keep on talking about " boudoir secrets "...you know, who snores etc.

The second more forceful kick to the shin does the trick:

" Hey Schatzi, why are you kicking my leg? "

Oh, definitely in need of attending a couple - speak class. Men, there is a reason we kick your shins and that reason is not for you to ask us why!!!

When women go out on a Ladies Night, we know instinctively how to communicate salient details. A hottie sitting behind a friend, only needs a quick roll of the eyes and she knows. She might pretend to drop her purse and surreptitiously have a look while picking it up. No need to utter the words ' Don't look now, but...'. Well, when Bob and I are out somewhere, and I want to surreptitiously tell him that he should have a look at So & So with a new girlfriend, he usually does the following:

Turns around in his chair and proclaims loudly; " Who should I look at? "

All of us married folk know the head flick. You know, where you husband catches your eye across the room at a party and does a head flick to the left. It might mean a number of things:

• "Jeez, come and rescue me from this boredom."
• He might want you to fetch him another plate of finger food.
• He wants to go home asap and not for the reasons you think. No, he wants to watch TV / wants to sit on his own throne.

Well, on Sunday at the Frühschoppen the funniest thing happened...Schatzi and I were at different corners yet doing similar chores. He made sure there were enough clean glasses and I made sure of a steady supply of clean cutlery. A few hours in, he sauntered over to my corner and about 5 meters from me he did the head flick.

One of the ladies in my team saw it and being married herself, told me to take a break and go to Bob. Oh, it was nice to get away from my sink for a minute. Bob just asked me how I was getting along and to tell me the trials and tribulations going on in his station. Honestly, it took no more than a minute and we were back in our opposite corners.

When I got back so quickly, there was amusement in her voice:

" Gosh you're back rather quickly. I thought Bob wanted to go for a ' quickie ' around the corner with you! "

... Ah, village life is great fun and I need to add to my list of head flick translations.

Biggi