The Affair De Plum!

A plummy morning.

The funniest moments usually happen by pure chance. Take this morning for example, when I went for a trip to the back lavatory and happened to glance out the little window. Good grief, there was a helmeted man ( granted only a silly half helmet ) picking plums of our plum tree.

At first I thought I wasn't seeing right. I knew the man and couldn't understand how he would just go and pick our plums without even asking. Should I tell Bob and get him all riled up? The plums are his pride and joy as they form the raw ingredients for his famous homemade schnapps. Was it worthwhile rocking the neighbourly boat for a few plums?

I proceeded to watch him and thought all was over when he disappeared with a full container but it seems he only ventured to his nearby moped to fetch a new container for OUR plums. Bob had to be told. No two ways about it. Bob is usually a gentleman but touch his plums and all bets are off. He stormed outside with me still shouting platitudes about there being enough plums for all and don't upset the neighbours...

Silence. Waiting and suddenly a moped driving off. Bob came back inside and spilled the beans. Turns out that when Bob told this guy to please be so kind as to leave some of our plums as he needs them ( sarcasm that went right over this guy's head ) to make schnapps, this guy said to Bob:

" I have always had an agreement with Ferry to take as many plums as I want. "

...never mind that Ferry has been dead for over a decade and we have owned this ( his ) house for over eight years already. Known to our plum taker of course....oh well, is does take all kinds to make the world go round...at least the mystery of a few years ago is explained. Another of our plum trees was overnight rid off all its luscious and perfectly ripe fruit. Bob has always suspected a close neighbours but as we have learnt today, the wrong one...

Biggi