An Unexpected Black Cat Ninja Attack.

Since when is a big toe considered a tasty morsel?

When I was younger the world was outraged, shocked, definitely surprised and perhaps even amused by the royal " Toe-Gate Affair " ( a Duchess and an American in France )

Toes seem to hold an attraction it seems and lately, our little feline has had this silly idea that a big toe is a toy. A toy to be clawed, bitten and attacked.

Before you go: " Ooh, how cute... " please take into account that our little Maus has claws that should soon be registered as dangerous weapons and she keeps true to the Ninja Code and only attacks my tasty toes in the early morning hours.

Picture it, there I was in the land of Somnus and innocently snoring away when out of the blue, she jumped onto my ankles and launched a starting round of bites. Please believe me, it takes a while before you realize why your toe is sore.

Round two had me raising my voice to say: " No! " which she didn't hear because she was wearing the invisible Ninja Ear Plugs and the only option was for me to try and untangle my feet from the duvet and her.

On her decent to the floor she got in a few claw attacks and stupidly I thought that this was the end to it...If you do own a cat, you know that notorious wild look they get. Out of the blue, I might mention. Once you see it, it's really the best idea to run for the hills.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

Last night, she did a jump and decent to the floor routine at least five times. By this stage I was mad enough to bunker down in my duvet with nary a tempting toe on view.

When I want her to stop doing something that might be a touch nefarious-feline nefarious-, I clap my hands twice and it usually works like a treat along with a resound and strong No!. Usually, but not last night! Which makes me wonder whether I have to practice my Babara Woodhouse manner a bit more? Who can ever forget the iconic:

" Whhhaaalkeees. "

This morning, all is well and forgotten with our Princess Maus curled up quite happily on my lap, as I am writing this blog. But, I am not naive...there might be many ninja attacks still in store for me.

Perhaps I must get Bob to video one stealth attack on my toe by our Maus and just maybe my:

" Maus bit my toe! "

will get as much airtime as

" Charlie bit my finger. "

Biggi