Friday, 23 September 2016

Are We Women Nurturers Or Do We Just Have A Healthy Dose Of Common Sense?

Bob's adventurous day out.

Before I had even met Bob, I read an interesting relationship advice:

" You are not his mother, but his wife / girlfriend. Stop mothering him. "
and I've tried sticking to it as much as possible...yet, it's not always that easy!

Take today, a beautiful autumn's day complete with a very cold morning breeze and possible evening breeze too. Bob's off for the day to help harvest grapes somewhere in the Neusiedl See region. Lucky fish indeed, as it is a spectacular bit of Burgenland. Sort of like Cape Town is to the rest of South Africa.

He will be gone all day, and because he has the gift of being in the moment he wouldn't consider taking a lunchbox along. He'd eaten breakfast and wasn't hungry anymore. Whereas I think ahead to at least the next three meals and what, how and where I will eat them, he didn't give a thought to lunch or any other meals. I was imagining him in the vineyards bereft of food all day.

" Stop stressing. I am NOT taking any sandwiches because they properly will give us lunch. "
But what if they don't? Suffice to say that both of us turned a tad bit stubborn, with me pressing a bunch of bananas ( easy to bring back if not eaten ) on him and he repeating that they will give him food.

A Burgenland standoff almost ensued, but eventually Bob took the bananas, and with a huge sigh of irritation ( yikes, mothering again ) the tube of sunblock that I held out in front of him.

Was I being wifely or was I being motherly? Somehow I lean towards the latter. Does it happen to other wives too, this constant muttering of one liners:

" Did you lock the car? "
" Did you put on your warm socks / underpants / beanie etc? "
" Have you fed the cat / dog / kids? "

On the bright side, it does show that we love our spouses...but what would happen if we stepped out of the (s)mothering role for a few weeks? Gosh, our men might surprise us and be fine, if not better without our daily nagging reminders.

I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is one of nature's chicken and or the egg affairs.