A diversion from the news...
" He who laughs last, didn't get it. "Helen Giangregorio
" I am going to stand outside. If anyone asks, I'm outstanding. "
" No man is truly married until he understands each word his wife is not saying. "
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't got anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. "Robert Frost
" I come from a really dangerous neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it. " Rodney Dangerfield
" Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. "W.C. Fields
" She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from which direction. "Bob Hope
" It only takes one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.George Burns
" Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die. " Johnny Carson
" Whatever you look like, marry a man your own age-as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. "Phyllis Diller