Sunday, 9 June 2013

Being A Shy Introvert In Social Situations.

A fun party to some is a nerve wrecking affair for others.

It already starts when you have to walk in. The mere act of walking through a door and into a mass of people often takes an immense amount of courage.

Where should you look or rather who should you look at. Will you know anybody there ? Or even worse, will you forget to greet someone you know ! If people only knew, that when you walk in as an introvert and a shy one on top of that, all you see is a mass of faces. Most of the time they morph together and look like extras from a sci-fi movie.

Okay, once you're in the door comes that frightful and often imagined task of finding a place to sit or stand. For you extroverts it is a piece of cake. You can jovially shout and interact with all and sundry, without batting an eyelid. Not so for us shy introverts.

Finding an empty table is fraught with pitfalls. There are always those table keepers to get past. You know, those people who very adroitly send a slight signal, one that clearly tells you not to sit there. Now and again you get the brazen table keepers who just put a leg, handbag or piece of clothing on the empty chair.

When you finally have found a seat, comes the act of pretending to be nonchalant and normal while you are a nervous wreck on the inside !. Even though it is so very appealing, there is just no way that you can keep studying the table's surface for hours on end. No, you have to mingle and interact.

It does get easier after a while. You can return a smile rather nimbly. When anyone walks past your table, it gets a bit more tricky, because it is one of those awkward situations, where you don't know whether to greet or not ? Or let me put it this way. As an introvert, you worry whether they want to greet you or not. Oh, I know this sounds silly and trite. But that's how it is.

At most social events, you do get a few " angles ". It is as if they can sense that you need that extra push to integrate. They go out of their way to talk to you and introduce you to others. We introverts are just as valuable to meet as the extroverts. We also have a lot of interesting conversations to share, but with us, you need to find that key that unlocks that mantle of shyness.

Actually, once we feel comfortable, we introverts are much better conversationalists. Most of us would rather listen than talk and lets face it, who doesn't want to be listened to ?

Look, I am not saying that every introvert is a nice person to meet, but give us a chance and we might surprise you !

Biggi

Amazon.com:Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
Amazon.de:Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking