The need to justify why it is like it is.
Yesterday I was so happy to be able to meet with my cousin, who I haven't seen in about 10 years. This is what makes moving to Austria so special for me. A chance to meet and see all of my family. Super.
My cousin and her husband were actually coming to my Mum's house but on the off chance that they might want to see where Bob and I live, we did a bit of a spruce up beforehand. Scouts motto of being prepared...
Of course the illusion of neatness is seen and perceived differently by everyone. Sometimes I wonder why I bother. Bob in his infinite wise way always puts his foot down ( or rather refuses to play along and do a tidy up ) by saying: " We both love our home, so why do you always do this. It is fine as it is and if they don't like it, well tough!"
So here is where my insecurity gallops in. When we show our home to family or friends the first time I usually tend to explain away speckles of dust, lack of fashionable stuff, unfinished work or an untidy room. ( But that is almost as silly as planning your wedding menu so that Great Aunt Fanny won't moan about how tough the meat was or how little there was of it! )
Bob and I love our home, yet we go through this each time. At the end of the day, what other's think of our home is their business. Most of the time they like it as it is so very bohemian, rustic and different.
Life is a journey and I still have plenty to learn about myself.