Monday, 7 January 2013

Early Morning Surprise !

Not for the faint-hearted...

How often have you had dreams, that are so realistic, that you actually take a minute after awaking to comprehend it was just a dream ? Please bear that thought in mind.

As a part-time insomniac, I often sleep on the pull-out couch in front of the TV. Predictably, the deepest sleep happens just as the alarm clock does its annoying and never ending series of ' beeps '. My alarm clock is always in another room. No snooze button for me. So I jumped up and went to switch off the beeping.

As I turned back into the lounge, the glow of the TV cast a bit of light onto the bed. It shouldn't have, because what I saw in my bed, made me stop in my tracks. There was a shape, that resembled a small crushed mouse. Yes, we have had a mouse problem and in my minds eye, I saw myself sleeping next to a mouse and had obviously squashed it during the night !

Just before I hit the light switch, I was a second away from screaming down the house and neighbourhood. Yeewh, the thought of it was just too much. Imagine, a dead mouse in your bed...it could be a scene from a low-budget Mafia movie !

Relief flooded through me, when I realized that it was not a mouse. Good. But suddenly I looked at this ' shape ' on the bed and another scare ran through me. No way. Could it be ? Surely not ! There is no delicate way to say it. It looked like a turd.

Coming back to the dreaming, you see my point. So now I am staring at what looks really atrocious and childlike. But how often do we dream of going to the loo, just waking up in time...I had to lean in closer to inspect. Thoughts of senility ran through my mind, followed by thoughts of hiding this supposed incident from Bob. How embarrassing would that be ?

Funny enough there was no aroma of any sort. Excuse my bluntness but there is no other way to describe this. It was a light brown colour with what looked like crushed nuts in it. I did see some plastic with it.

Suddenly, it dawned on me. We had been eating individual wrapped chocolate sticks in bed. You know the kind with different flavours. Bob had not eaten his last one and it had somehow found a place under the duvet, where I of course, rolled over it in my sleep.

It had to be the ' crushed nut ' one. Eerily similar to.... when melted and rolled upon. Well, laughter and relief come over me in abundance ! Wow, how bizarrely stupid. This could only have happened to me !

Of course when Bob woke up and came through to the lounge, I asked him if he had had a little accident in the night ( remember, it was due to him that this even happened and I somehow thought quid pro quo )... When he saw what was on the duvet, he had the same reaction as me...the look on his face was too funny for words !

Biggi