Tuesday, 30 December 2014

Why Use A Handbrake When A Brick Will Do The Trick ?

The fun of driving in icy conditions.

Handbrakes are always strong, useful and comforting. The metaphorical one or the real one. Oh, as women we know that our men often refer to us as their handbrake. When men don't want to go out, they automatically pull the handbrake excuse...

" Oh, I wish I could go with you guys, but you know that the ol' handbrake won't let me! "

When you think about it, using the handbrake is automatic. Never mind how minor the incline is. A centimeter up or down...pull the handbrake. A motorist's security blanket perhaps?

Be honest, even when you park your car in a perfectly flat - no fear of any runaway car - you pull the handbrake...well, yours truly does too.

" Have you ever pulled your handbrake and it felt as if it's loose? "
ah, the plot thickens. In turns out that when it is freezing outside, the old handbrake doesn't work. Well, bothersome if you have to park on an incline. An incline that is iced over too. That is what happened to the two of us and don't forget we are recent transplants from the tropics, a place where handbrakes always work!

It was a friends birthday yesterday and despite the icy conditions I made Bob come with me. We drove the longer and less iced over route but were faced with a huge problem when we got to her house.

It is on a hill and when Bob pulled up the handbrake ( reflex ) it didn't budge. Well, only one thing to do. Bob waited in the car while I quickly dropped off the present.

As happens when someone has a big birthday ( 80 ), there were lots of people there. I wished her a Happy Birthday and when she asked if I wanted to have some cake and coffee, all I could say was:

" Sorry, I would love to, but Bob's outside waiting in the car. He couldn't come in because our handbrake doesn't work. "
if only you could have heard the chuckles emanating from the table. To break the proverbial ice, I made my sweeping statement
" You know, normally I am the handbrake, but this time the real one isn't working! "
...well, the men had the grace to nod a bit shamefaced but the women understood and laughed out loud.

When the birthday gal asked me again whether I wouldn't like a quick cup of something, all I could say was:

" Thank you so much, but I can't. Eh, you know how impatient men get while idling away in the car waiting for their handbrake to return! "
...I have to say, that there where nods and guffaws all around the table.

As for driving in Winter sans handbrake, there is only one other option...take a brick along for the ride.